Month: September 2026

The Incomer

10/09/26

Cineworld, Edinburgh

Welcome to Auk, a remote island somewhere off the coast of Scotland with a population comprising two people and a whole bunch of seabirds. The human inhabitants are siblings Isla (Gayle Rankin) and Sandy (Grant O’Rourke) and they were born here, when the place was a small but thriving community. Over the years it has steadily declined in numbers and, since the deaths of their parents, the twosome have clung tenaciously to their established routines, surviving on a diet of gulls, fish and crustaceans.

They pass the lonely hours by making up stories about the evil incomers from the mainland, the ones who first tempted the rest of the island’s population away and who they now believe must be resisted at all costs. The pair of them are quite feral, bickering and scrapping like teenagers and occasionally dressing up in bizarre feathered costumes to enact their own self-created mythologies.

But progress finally has the island in its sights. Council worker Daniel (Domhnall Gleeson) is dispatched from his office with the thankless mission of telling Isla and Sandy that they are trespassing on a place that is being earmarked as a nature reserve – that they shall be removed (by force if necessary) and rehoused somewhere on the mainland. To be honest, Daniel is reluctant to be the bearer of such tidings. He’s shy and diffident and a bit of a loner in his office – but his ambitious boss, Roz (Michelle Gomez), makes it clear that it’s time he started pulling his weight.

So Daniel makes the long crossing to Auk and finally comes face-to -ace with two people who are predisposed to hate him…

This quirky, low-budget comedy, written and directed by Louis Paxton, features appealing performances from the three leads, while the smaller roles are all nicely handled (keep your eyes peeled for a delightful cameo from John Hannah as you’ve never seen him before). Patrick Glan’s cinematography captures the wild beauty of the setting and Selina Wagner contributes some delightful animated sequences, which are skilfully incorporated into the narrative and never overstay their welcome.

Paxton manages to avoid painting Daniel as some kind of saviour offering a better life – indeed, as the story unfolds, he’s the one who changes most – and there’s a satisfying conclusion which manages to tie the whole thing up without wading too deep into sentimentality. Whenever the story threatens to defy credulity, Paxton brings it back from the cliff edge. For example, there is a pretty convincing explanation for why the siblings have never managed to leave Auk – and why they are so keen to remain there.

This is an impressive debut and I’ll be very interested to see where this fledgling director ventures next.

4.2 stars

The Black Bull

06/09/26

Church Gate, Moffat

Regular readers will know that, as far as B&B are concerned, there’s no place like home – and that home for us is the incomparable Edinburgh. Still, post-Fringe, even we’re feeling a bit city-bound, in need of some nature and R&R. So we climb into our little camper van and drive ninety minutes’ south to a campsite in Moffat, a place we’ve never visited before.

A former spa, Moffat remains a vibrant country town, famous for its walking trails and toffee shop. The weather is mixed but we don’t let that deter us. As the Norwegians say, “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only the wrong clothes.” We’ll hike in the rain rather than not hike at all. But that’s not to say it doesn’t leave us hankering for the comfort of a Sunday lunch.

We’ve walked past The Black Bull a couple of times and noticed that they do a weekly carvery. We can’t remember the last time we had one of those (it’s been at least a decade) and now seems like exactly the right time to rectify the situation. We’re the first people in the door when it opens at 1pm, and we’re quickly shown to a seat.

Established in 1568 – and once a regular haunt of Robert Burns – The Black Bull declares itself “the oldest hostelry in the area.” A delightful blend of traditional and modern, the decor is cosy and welcoming, our waiter friendly and knowledgeable about the fare. I tell her I can’t eat gluten, and she assures me that I’ll be well catered for.

There’s not a lot to say about a carvery: we all know what it is. But this is up there with the very best we’ve had, the joints of meat – turkey, gammon and beef – perfectly-cooked. All the usual suspects are present: roast potatoes (crispy outsides, fluffy insides), buttery mash, peas, carrots, sprouts. The cauliflower cheese is gluten-free (hurrah!) and there are even gluten-free Yorkshire puddings available. Sure, they’re not as big and fluffy as the regular ones (which Philip says are fabulous), but they taste spot on. The chef directs me to a pot of gluten-free gravy, making a point of using a separate ladle. These people know their stuff when it comes to allergies!

We’re glad we’ve chosen the regular rather than the large-sized plate because afterwards we’re too full to even look at the pudding menu. We ask for the bill, which – along with a Peroni 0% and a fizzy water – comes to just over £40. We can’t help comparing this to a recent disappointing meal we had in an Edinburgh steakhouse (I won’t name and shame), which came in at more than three times the price and was only a third as good.

So, if you find yourself in Dumfries and Galloway on a soggy Sunday afternoon, I highly recommend you pop along to The Black Bull for a sterling lunch that won’t break the bank. We’ll certainly be coming back.

5 stars

Susan Singfield

The Death of Robin Hood

03/09/26

Cineworld, Edinburgh

We all know the classic story, right? A merry band of men in tights, who steal from the rich and give to the poor…

Anyone expecting such elements from The Death of Robin Hood is going to be sorely disappointed. Michael Sarnoski’s film is an unapologetically revisionist take. In this version, set in the 1200s somewhere ‘near Keswick’ (though actually filmed in Northern Ireland), Robin (Hugh Jackman) is a bearded, grumpy, mud-stained villain, who takes whatever he fancies and God help anyone who gets in his way.

And nobody is sicker of those trumped-up accounts of his exploits than he is.

The first third of the film is a grim, unflinching account of where our aging protagonist is now. Set in horrific-looking winter weather, it features more bloodshed and dismemberment than we’re used to seeing in this legend, as Robin teams up with his old comrade Little John (Bill Skarsgård) and sets out to reclaim the house and wife that his friend has had stolen from him. (They weren’t actually John’s house and wife in the first place but we’ll overlook that little detail.) Cue some truly gut-wrenching fight sequences, which actually make me flinch at certain points. And trust me, I don’t flinch easily.

As a consequence of the ensuing carnage, Robin is stabbed and hacked to within an inch of his life, so John promptly rows him across to the Island of St Clement. where it’s claimed that Brigid (Jodie Comer), the mysterious prioress who runs the place, is able to effect miraculous cures. Whereupon the weather suddenly clears up, the sun comes out from behind the clouds and Robin starts the slow process of regaining his health.

When John’s orphaned daughter, Margaret (Katie Breen), turns up on the island looking for Robin, he finally begins to reassess his life of violence…

While I applaud Sarnoski’s steadfast intention to strip away the traditional elements of the story, it might have been a good idea to show some of the social injustice that led to people taking the law into their own hands in the first place. As it stands, you get the impression that every man in this neck of the woods is a mindless, violent thug. But, thanks to Pat Scola’s magnificent cinematography and Jim Ghedi’s adaptations of traditional folk songs, this still makes for a satisfying cinematic experience. Jackman has plenty of gravitas in the lead role and even makes a decent fist of his Northern accent – thought Skarsgård’s attempt is so OTT it’s sometimes hard to follow. Comer exerts an extraordinary presence as Brigid, a woman torn between her passion to heal the sick and a perfectly understandable need to seek her own revenge. And Murray Bartlett as ‘The Leper’ somehow manages to make an impression, despite being wrapped head to toe in bandages.

Having systematically destroyed all the mythology of the piece, in the final stretches Sarnoski cleverly shows exactly how myth-making happens – and why it is so important to cherish the process

Which may be a bit like having your bow and drawing it – but it works.

3.8 stars

Philip Caveney

I Want Your Sex

02/09/26

Cineworld, Edinburgh

Given that uncompromising title and the18 certificate, it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to deduce that this film features some adult themes. But those expecting unadulterated smut are going to be sorely disappointed by I Want Your Sex. Directed and co-written (with Karley Sciortino) by Greg Araki, this is a deliciously dark comedy, which nails the shallow and pretentious world of contemporary art. It’s star, Olivia Wilde, is the woman behind The Invite, another film aimed at adults that will almost certainly feature in my top ten movies of 2026: a production, moreover, that – despite a modest budget – managed to take over $50 million at the box office.

Wilde plays Erika Tracey, a contemporary artist who has built her entire career on depicting scenes of sexuality. When we first glimpse her she’s floating face down in a swimming pool. Her employee, Elliot (Cooper Hoffman), clearly in a state of panic, is dressed in women’s lingerie and frantically summoning an ambulance. Thereafter, we see him being grilled by a couple of detectives (Johnny Knoxville and Margaret Cho), who are trying to establish exactly what has happened.

From here we flashback 9½ weeks (geddit?) to see Elliot being interviewed by Erika for the post of assistant at her art studio – and shortly thereafter sticking pieces of freshly-chewed gum onto a drawing of a vagina. (Don’y worry, it’s art!) A short time later he is being propositioned by Erika, who has decided that he’s somebody she’d rather like to have sex with. It won’t be straightforward sex, mind you. What she wants is a sub – somebody she can dress up, spank, humiliate and even ignore when the mood takes her. Twenty-three-year-old Elliot hesitates all of two seconds before accepting. Okay, he has a girlfriend called Minerva (Charli xcx), a medical student, but she seems far more interested in her text books than satisfying his sexual needs and… well, Elliot is pretty enraptured by Erika. What could possibly go wrong?

But as Erika and her team approach a make-or-break exhibition of her latest work, things begin to go askew…

This is sharply written and very funny, despite dealing with serious themes like consent and sexual exploitation. Wilde is frankly terrific as Erika – she’s a ruthless manipulator, razor-sharp, selfish and completely self-obsessed. Hoffman’s Elliot is her polar opposite. Inexperienced and hopelessly vulnerable, he’s a rabbit in the headlights.

As events career towards a hopelessly messy conclusion, there’s time to appreciate some of the other players in the game. Chase Sui Wonders is adorable as Eliott’s bestie, Apple, who finds herself completely mortified by an encounter with Erika. Mason Gooding is also impressive as the sardonic Zap, Elliot’s handsome co-worker, who always manages to salvage whatever he can from the general carnage.

There are a couple of clever codas to the story – set first two years and then four years later – and it’s worth staying in your seats for the blooper reel which plays out over the end credits. All in all, this is great fun – and much kudos to Arraki and Wilde who have had the confidence to offer that rarest of things: an adult-themed movie that offers a fresh and original approach to its chosen subject.

4.3 stars

Philip Caveney

The Whisper Man

31/08/26

Netflix

My first thought on hearing about The Whisper Man is this: “How does a film that stars Adam Scott, Robert De Niro and Michael Keaton bypass the cinemas completely and go straight to Netflix?” Then I watch the film and the mystery is instantly solved. Based on a best-selling novel by Alex North (adapted by Ben Jacoby and Chase Palmer), this is essentially a police procedural with the trappings of a supernatural story, which somehow contrives to be disappointing in both genres.

After the death of his wife, author Tom Kennedy (Adam Scott) moves into a great big creepy house, with his young son, Jake (Actston Luca Porto). Ever since Jake found his mother dead at the bottom of a flight of steps, he’s been terrified of staircases – which instantly begs the question, why don’t the two of them rent a bungalow instead? But no, Dad decides to go for a place that looks like the Amityville House.

Pretty soon after their arrival, Jake starts talking in whispers to an imaginary person and then, very shortly afterwards, he is kidnapped in the middle of the night while Tom is fast asleep. Jake is just the latest in a whole succession of children to disappear in such a way, their bodies appearing at regular intervals, dumped in remote spots with their faces covered. Detective Amanda Beck (Michelle Monaghan) is all too aware that these murders are eerily similar to the exploits of another killer, Frank Carter (Michael Keaton), but he’s been safely locked up for years after being arrested by Detective Peter Willis (Robert De Niro).

When things seem desperate, Tom approaches the father he hasn’t communicated with in years. His father is – wait for it – the very same Peter Willis, now retired and clearly reluctant to return to the case that cost him his wife and son…

If the central premise beggars belief, stick around, it gets worse. A whole bunch of unlikely coincidences ensue and it doesn’t help that both De Niro and Scott look thoroughly bored throughout. Only Keaton, playing a Hannibal Lectorish psychopath, appears to be having fun with his brief guest appearance. It also doesn’t help that. watching this, I keep guessing what’s going to happen a good fifteen minutes before it actually transpires. Even the central ‘ghost’ element is played out like a major revelation when it’s really not.

Currently Netflix’s number one movie, The Whisper Man is right there to watch at the touch of a button, but… ssshh! Whisper it. Despite those big names, this is small beer.

2. 8 stars

Philip Caveney