Babe | Bouquets & Brickbats

10/05/26

Cineworld, Edinburgh

Writer Craig Mazan has had a somewhat checkered career on the big screen. Early projects like Scary Movie 4 and The Hangover 3 came and went without much fuss – and yet, for television, he scripted both the extraordinary Chernobyl and The Last of Us to well-deserved acclaim. What then are we to make of his long-nurtured adaptation of Leonie Swann’s novel, Three Bags Full, which plays like a cross between Babe and Murder Most Foul?

The Sheep Detectives is the story of a shepherd called George (Hugh Jackman, sporting a winning smile and an accent that seems to vary alarmingly from scene to scene). George is the proverbial good shepherd, a man who only farms sheep for their wool and wouldn’t dream of worrying his flock by waving pots of mint sauce at them. He even has a long-established routine of reading them murder mysteries every night to ‘help them sleep.’ As you do.

He’s blissfully unaware that they understand every word he’s saying…

One morning, George’s dead body is discovered in the field and his flock, led by Lily (voiced by Julia Louis-Dreyfus), decide that the crime deserves a deeper level of investigation than can be expected from the local village’s solitary policeman. He’s the nice but ineffectual Tim (Nicholas Braun, making a better fist of an English accent than Jackman). Lily teams up with loner ram, Sebastian (Bryan Cranston), to look deeper into the long list of suspects. These include George’s estranged daughter, Rebecca (Molly Gordon), local innkeeper, Beth (Hong Chau), and fellow shepherd, Caleb (Tosin Cole), a man who is much happier to exploit the potential of turning sheep into cold cuts. And what about wannabe newspaper reporter, Elliot (Nicholas Galitzine)? Why is he taking such an interest in the case?

Initially, I’m somewhat underwhelmed by the WTF concept and have to confess that I do find some of the story’s more saccharin moments hard to endure. But as the film progresses, I’m increasingly drawn into the story, preposterous though it is. Director Kyle Balda has a background in animation and it must be said that the many sheep characters that populate the story all have their own distinct personalities. At no point am I ever confused by who is ewe (sorry) and that’s no easy matter when there are sometimes scores of the creatures onscreen. It’s also fair to say that the script is occasionally amusing – and sometimes surprising. A sequence where Lily and Mopple (Chris O’Dowd) have an unpleasant encounter with the sheep on Caleb’s farm turns quite dark.

But whether or not you’ll enjoy this hokum really does depend on you buying its central premise – that sheep aren’t as stupid as their reputation suggests. Ultimately, perhaps the biggest mystery here is how so many A list actors signed on the dotted line for the project. Patrick Stewart plays an elderly ram called Sir Richfield – doing an uncanny impersonation of his old pal Ian McKellan into the bargain – and even Emma Thompson shows up in a cameo role as George’s acerbic solicitor, Lydia Harbottle.

Judging by the sizeable crowd at the daytime screening I attend, The Sheep Detectives is likely to make a splash at the box office with flocks of youngsters keen to see it. But several older viewers make for the exit fifteen minutes in muttering, “Baaaa humbug!” and I can fully appreciate their position. This really is that fabled film that’s “not for everyone.”

3. 2 stars

Philip Caveney

04/09/22

Cineworld, Edinburgh

First, a little bit about George Miller. I’m a big fan.

He is, of course, the Antipodean director who gave the world the Mad Max movies – and who, after an interval of twenty-seven years, did the near impossible by returning to the franchise and delivering what is arguably the finest action movie of 2015 – Mad Max: Fury Road. But wait, there’s more! What about The Witches of Eastwick? Brilliant film! And what about Babe? And, er… okay, I haven’t seen Happy Feet but it was a massive hit with the kids.

I guess what I’m saying is that Miller is no one-trick pony. And if nothing else, Three Thousand Years of Longing is proof of that. Co-written by Miller and based on a short story by AS Byatt, this is a film about the enduring power of storytelling. It wears its literary credentials with pride – indeed, the film is divided up into ‘chapters’ – and the result is enchanting in the most literal sense of the word.

Alithea (Tilda Swinton) is a narratologist (it’s a real thing), who has devoted her life to the study of stories. At one point, she makes the brilliant observation that “all gods and monsters outlive their purpose and are reduced to the role of metaphor”. On a trip to Turkey, where she’s been booked to speak at a literary conference, she buys a souvenir at the old bazaar in Istanbul, an ancient glass bottle. Whilst attempting to clean it with an electric toothbrush, Alithea accidentally releases its occupant, The Djinn (Idris Elba), who has spent a lot of time locked up in a variety of similar vessels.

It isn’t long before he and Alithea are exchanging extracts from their respective life stories…

I love this film, which offers a magical, Arabian Nights-style odyssey through a series of exotic landscapes, peopled by a host of fascinating characters. It would be so easy to get this wrong, ‘othering’ the various magical creatures who stride through the ensuing adventures, but Miller never puts a foot wrong and there’s a delicious fluidity to John Seale’s epic cinematography and Margaret Sixel’s editing, which mean the unfolding stories are never allowed to stagnate. Elba gets to escape from lion-thumping duties (see Beast) to prove his acting chops, and Tilda Swinton is as delightfully enigmatic as ever.

“You can’t put the genie back in the bottle,” is a well known adage, but apparently you can, as The Djinn learns to his regret. Also, faithfulness is so often taken for granted by the people who receive it. One other thing: this may be the first movie I’ve seen where the COVID pandemic is visually referenced with crowds of people in an auditorium wearing face masks. This was a big event in world history and yet most film makers have chosen to ignore it. Why?

Three Thousand Years of Longing probably won’t put a huge amount of bums on seats (I suspect that it’s too thoughtful, too labyrinthine to be a big hitter), but it’s nevertheless a gorgeous, exciting slice of cinema that’s clearly the work of a director who, in his late seventies, is at the peak of his powers.

Next up, Furiosa! Can’t wait.

4.5 stars

Philip Caveney