Speak No Evil

Royal Nawaab

06/07/25

King’s Valley, Stockport

The Stockport pyramid was on my horizon for quite a few years before I moved to Edinburgh. When I first took up residence in Heaton Moor, the place was under construction and distinctive enough to prompt me to choose it as the perfect location for a climactic showdown in my crime novel, Speak No Evil. The book was released in 1993, the year after the building was completed. The pyramid stood empty for some time and, because it was originally conceived as one of several such constructions, there were dark mutterings in the local press about ‘the Curse of the Pharaohs.’ In 1995, the Co-Operative bank chose it as their headquarters, but in 2018 they moved out and the building has stood empty ever since, looking ever more shabby and unappreciated

Until now. After a massive investment, the restaurant chain Royal Nawaab has transformed it into a huge buffet restaurant with the capacity or up to 1500 diners. With prices set at just £29.99 a head, it’s understandably popular and has recently been championed by food critic Jay Rayner. Little wonder that, despite booking a week ahead, the earliest slot our party of four can obtain is 9.15pm on Saturday evening. When we arrive, the place is buzzing. The interior has been transformed, all glitzy red-carpet glamour, spotlit fountains and shimmering light fittings. (A word of warning to those who who see a curry as an excuse for a booze-up. The Royal Nawaab is unlicensed and there’s no BYOB policy either. They do have some rather nice mocktails, though.)

Buffet restaurants are not usually my ‘go to.’ I tend to favour more leisurely dining but the joyful atmosphere tonight is certainly energising and it isn’t long before I’m eagerly grabbing a plate and taking my pick from the long line of metal tureens offering me a whole series of aromatic dishes. As ever at these places, the best option is to grab small portions of the meat, fish and vegetables and go easy on the bread, rice and poppadoms. The starters are suitably enticing and the main courses are all cooked to a very high standard.

Legions of chefs and waiters keep everything replenished and our used crockery and utensils are magically removed by the time we return to our table, bearing our latest portions like prizes. It’s all so fleeting, it’s hard to keep track of the individual dishes, but amongst our favourites of the evening are freshly-grilled chicken skewers, dahl, chicken harissa and lamb karahi. There’s also a perfectly-spiced biriyani, a prawn karahi and a Thai red curry, but there’s more – much more – than I have space – or indeed, memory – to mention here.

I’ve always maintained that puddings can make or break a great meal, and it’s in this area that perhaps there’s room for improvement. At the furthest end of the hall, there’s a selection of rather unadventurous ice creams to choose from, some variations on traditional British sweets – including the oddest version of sticky toffee pudding I’ve ever encountered. However, this is mitigated by something called Umm Ali (Egyptian bread pudding), which is, it must be said, a bit of a find. The carrot halwa is rather tasty too.

So, would I recommend the Royal Nawaab? Maybe. There’s no escaping the fact that it’s a buffet restaurant and that always involves some degree of compromise. There isn’t much opportunity for a leisurely chat with your dinner companions when you’re heading off in different directions in search of something you haven’t tried before.

But as buffets go, this is certainly up there with the best of them. For the most part, it’s good food, expertly prepared. And if value is your goal, you’d be hard pressed to find better.

4 stars

Philip Caveney

Film Bouquets 2024

2024 has been an interesting (and sometimes infuriating) year for cinema, with some absolute masterpieces crashing and burning at the box office, while inferior sequels have raked in the big bucks. As is our established custom, here’s our regular shout-out of our ten favourite films of the year (plus three ‘special mentions’).

As ever, they are listed in order of release.

The Holdovers

“Alexander Payne spins a moving, endearing and sweetly sad story about human interaction…”

Poor Things

“Hums with pure invention, switching from black and white, to heightened colour, from fish-eye lens interiors and cramped city streets to majestic – almost hallucinatory – landscapes…”

The Zone of Interest

“Real monsters are just everyday people fuelled by hierarchy, encouraged by their superiors to wade ever deeper into the sewer of depravity…”

American Fiction


“Both thoughtful and thought-provoking, American Fiction is an impressive piece of work, deftly straddling the highbrow/lowbrow chasm that so infuriates its protagonist…”

Dune: Part Two

“Allegories about the links between religion and drugs, the evils of colonialism, the ruthlessness of royalty, the inevitability of war between the poor and the privileged…’

Civil War

“A powerful sense of unease builds steadily throughout – I’ve rarely seen urban warfare depicted with such unflinching realism and attention to detail…”

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

“A 79-year-old director at the height of his powers, unleashed into the world’s biggest sandbox and invited to play…”

The Substance

“An adept and powerful meditation on the subject of ageing and the ways in which women are constantly shackled and devalued by it…”

Speak No Evil

“There’s a gradual evolution from edgy confrontation into the realms of full-blown horror…”

Anora

“Sean Baker excels at placing marginalised people centre stage and showing them in all their complex, multi-faceted glory…”

SPECIAL MENTIONS

The Outrun

Late Night with the Devil

Robot Dreams

Philip Caveney & Susan Singfield

Speak No Evil

12/09/24

Cineworld, Edinburgh

A cut above the usual Blumhouse productions, Speak No Evil is a multi-faceted psychological thriller. Directed by James Watkins, this is an adaptation of a 2022 Danish movie of the same name (which I confess I haven’t seen). It’s also the title of my thriller novel from 1993, but I’m going to be gracious and overlook that fact. Suffice to say that if the aim of the film is to put viewers on the edge of their seats and keep them there for an hour and fifty minutes, then it succeeds in spades.

American couple, Ben (Scoot McNairy) and Louise (Mackenzie Davis), take their needy daughter, Agnes (Alix West Lefler), on holiday to Italy. Ben and Louise are currently going through a rough patch in their relationship and are looking to heal some wounds, so when they fall into company with irrepressibly confident British couple, Paddy (James McAvoy) and Ciara (Aisling Franciosi), they find themselves irresistibly pulled into their orbit. Paddy and Ciara also have a child in tow, the sullen and uncommunicative Ant (Dan Hough), who Paddy – a doctor no less – asserts is suffering from a rare condition that makes him virtually unable to speak.

The six holidaymakers get along surprisingly well. In a reversal of the usual national stereotypes, it’s the Americans who are all prim and repressed and the Brits who take delight in being loud, swaggering and generally unfettered. Then Paddy invites his new acquaintances to leave the pressures of their lives in London to enjoy a post-holiday visit to his lovely home in the West Country. Ben and Louise are at first somewhat unsure, but eventually decide to give it a go. After all, what can possibly go wrong?

Um, plenty as it turns out – but the clever thing about the screenplay (co-written by Watkins with Christian and Mads Tafdrup) is that the ensuing shenanigans at Paddy and Ciara’s suspiciously-palatial homestead are always kept just the right side of believability. This script takes its time to fully establish the American characters, so that we really care when things inevitably begin to go haywire for them. There’s a gradual evolution from edgy confrontation into the realms of full-blown horror. At first, it’s just Paddy and Ciara’s lack of propriety that’s the issue – but, as more and more boundaries are crossed, so the suspense rises to almost unbearable levels.

McAvoy’s Paddy is a wonderfully nuanced creation, by turns warm, emotive, sly and ultimately terrifying – but all the characters are nicely played and Davis in particular excels as she is increasingly compelled to compromise her beliefs. If the film’s latter stages are reminiscent of Sam Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs, well that was a very long time ago (1971 to be precise). Suffice to say that, as the narrative approaches its final furlongs, I find myself having to restrain myself from shouting advice at the screen. You know the kind of thing.

‘Don’t go back in there!’ ‘Look behind you!’ And that perennial favourite, ‘Forget about the cuddly toy!’ (You’ll need to see it to fully understand.)

One thing’s for sure. I’m never going to hear The Bangles performing Eternal Flame again without thinking of this nail-biter. Those of a nervous disposition will probably want to give this a miss, but cinematic thrill-seekers like me are going to enjoy it right down to the final frame, when they may – as I did – realise they’ve been holding their breath for a bit too long…

5 stars

Philip Caveney