Twisters

17/07/24

Cineworld, Edinburgh

If ever I were asked to compile a list of the least eagerly anticipated movie sequels, Twisters would figure fairly high on it. After all, though Jan De Bont’s original was a commercial hit back in 1996, it has receded from public consciousness. The only image I can recall from it is a sequence featuring an airborne cow. But Lee Isaac Chung’s sequel has been co-financed by no less than three big studios and is executive-produced by Steven Spielberg, so clearly somebody has high expectations of it.

Twisters stars Daisy Edgar Jones as Kate Carter, an impetuous young meteorologist with the uncanny ability to ‘sniff out’ tornadoes before they actually happen. (Yes, really.) Along with boyfriend Jeb (Daryl McCormack) and a bunch of enthusiastic friends, including Javi (Anthony Ramos), she drives around Oklahoma in a ramshackle truck, chasing twisters – not for kicks, but to collect data for her PhD project.

Which is all great fun, until something bad happens.

Five years later, she’s working in an office in New York, wearing a sensible suit and being very risk averse. She’s approached by Javi, who has recently been in the military and now has access to some state-of-the-art tech which will allow him to capture tornado data as it’s never been done before. Would Kate like to spend a week with him, helping him reap the whirlwind? Pretty soon, she’s back in action and running with a whole crowd of action-seekers, including Tyler Owens (Glen Powell), a redneck heartthrob with a huge online following and T-shirt sales to go with it. As he is fond of saying, “You don’t chase your dreams, you ride them.” Inevitably Kate and Glen find themselves bumping up against each other and, equally inevitably, sparks begin to fly…

Essentially, Twisters is a big-budget action romp, with a massive special effects budget, some eye-popping cinematography courtesy of Dan Mindel and, if I’m honest, not a great deal else. It’s a series of thrills and spills, featuring people who survive and others who do not. Every so often characters mumble stuff about the different chemicals that they’re pumping into the tornadoes in an apparent attempt to er… snuff them out? At least, I think that’s what they’re trying to do. I’m not sure how much scrutiny the technical side of this film can withstand.

Really, it’s just an excuse to throw people into a series of action set-pieces and make an audience worry about what’s going to happen to them. Since the unfortunate victims who lose the gamble are whisked away in an instant, there’s are no horribly mangled corpses to bother the 12A certificate. And, unlike its predecessor, Twisters does at least have the honesty to address the destructive nature of storms. Yes, there’s the occasional grudging references to global warming and climate catastrophe, but it all feels a little disingenuous.

There’s also a ‘will they won’t they?’ question overhanging Kate and Tyler throughout proceedings but, rather like those storm-related deaths, it’s all kept offscreen. Nothing to frighten the horses.

Don’t get me wrong, this all makes for an entertaining couple of hours in the cinema, but when you consider that Lee Isaac Chung’s last film was the brilliant and heartwarming Minari, it’s hard to get too excited about a summer blockbuster, which is full of sound and fury and… well, you know the rest.

3.2 stars

Philip Caveney

Longlegs

12/07/24

Cineworld, Edinburgh

A troubled FBI agent attempts to track down a mysterious killer. A series of bizarre clues links the killings to a whole list of young girls who have their birthday on the 14th of any given month. And the events play out in the remote backwoods of Oregon, where the landscape seems laden with the threat of unspecified terrors.

On paper at least, Longlegs has all the hallmarks of that increasingly common syndrome, Seenitallbefore. So it’s heartening that writer/director Oz Perkins has somehow managed to take all these familiar ingredients and cook up something that feels entirely original: a dark, smouldering slow-burn of a film that’s imbued with a relentless sensation of mounting dread.

It’s the 1990s: there are photographs of Bill Clinton on the FBI’s office wall and mobile phones haven’t happened yet. Agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe, last seen by B&B in the criminally ignored Watcher), is part of a team investigating a number of seemingly unrelated murders that go back to the 1970s. Her boss, Agent Carter (Blair Underwood), keeps tying to motivate her, but she is unresponsive to his approaches. She’s a quiet, brooding sort of person, with no apparent social life and strong links to her mother, Ruth (Alicia Witt), a backwoods bible-basher, who appears to be a total recluse.

It’s hardly a spoiler to mention that, back in her childhood, Lee had a bizarre encounter with the titular villain of the piece, played by a mesmerisingly scary Nicolas Cage, layered in prosthetics and sporting a long blonde wig. As Lee begins to discover a chain of bewildering clues, she starts to suspect that this man is somehow involved in all of those apparently random killings, even though evidence suggests that he was never there at the time…

Longlegs defies rational explanation. This is a film that exudes a powerful sense of disquiet from the opening scenes onwards, and manages to hold me spellbound throughout. A tangible sense of fear spills from every image and, unlike some recent horrors, this doesn’t depend on explicit carnage to make its point. Sure, there is violence here, but most of it happens offscreen, Perkins tapping into the age-old truth that what really scares an audience is what it doesn’t quite see. And there’s some stuff about worryingly life-like dolls that really amps up the unease.

If the eventual explanation for what’s been happening is decidedly off-the-wall, it matters not because if the raison d’etre of Longlegs is to unsettle the viewer ( and I strongly suspect that it is) then it delivers on that premise big time.

Looking back to our review of Watcher in November 2022, I note that I lament the fact that we are the only two viewers in the screening. Happily, that’s not the case with this one, which is well attended, probably because of the many five-star reviews the film has garnered from independent horror sites. I enjoy (if that’s the right word) the movie’s uncanny ability to reinvent and reinvigorate some decidedly tired genre tropes, to produce a film that feels like it’s actually breaking new ground. Monroe is compelling as the tortured protagonist and Cage, once again, submits a performance that is spectacularly unhinged. Wait till you hear him sing!

Longlegs won’t be for everyone. Those of a nervous disposition might prefer to look elsewhere. But those who like to shudder will want to check this one out.

4.6 stars

Philip Caveney

MaXXXine

08/07/24

Cineworld, Edinburgh

All hail MaXXXine, the third instalment of Ti West’s acclaimed horror trilogy.

Full disclosure: although I loved the second (Pearl), I haven’t seen the first (X). I’m planning to remedy that tonight, courtesy of Amazon Prime Video. Still, I don’t mind watching things in the wrong order – I’m not bothered by so-called spoilers. It reminds me of being a kid and borrowing books from the library based on what was on the shelf, rather than on their position in a series. If they’re good, they usually stand alone. And MaXXXine is very good.

The magnificent Mia Goth returns as the lead and she’s every bit as compelling as I’ve come to expect. Although this sort-of feminist, sort-of arthouse take on an 80s slasher movie isn’t perhaps as exquisite as Pearl, it’s nonetheless irresistible – beautifully crafted and clearly born of real affection for the genre.

Maxine Minx (Goth) is a successful porn actress, looking to cross over into mainstream movies before her star begins to wane. When she impresses the imperious Elizabeth Bender (Elizabeth Debicki), director of the controversial The Puritan, she lands the lead in its imaginatively-titled sequel, The Puritan 2. But there’s a Satanist serial killer prowling LA’s streets, and a dodgy detective called John Labat (Kevin Bacon) is trying to rake up Maxine’s past. “Whatever’s happening in your life that’s getting in the way of this movie,” says Bender, “Squash it.” And Maxine is determined to do just that…

Cinematographer Eliot Rockett perfectly recreates the low-rent look of 80s movies, all flickering edges and fuzzy VHS. There is a knowing, meta-quality on display throughout, although not in the glib, mocking style of some recent fright flicks, which simply invert the well-worn tropes. This is more of a love letter to Hollywood horror, with key scenes played out in the Bates Motel and behind those big white letters on the hill.

The supporting actors are almost as arresting as Goth, Debicki and Bacon in particular lighting up the screen. I especially enjoy Bender’s self-indulgent rationalisation of The Puritan 2 as a serious piece of art, and the deliciously sleazy Labat’s attempts to assert his dominance over Maxine.

There’s a message here too, and it’s about as subtle as Maxine’s perm: puritanical religion is more dangerous than adult entertainment. Whether or not you agree, the point is seductively made, and MaXXXine is a gory delight.

4 stars

Susan Singfield

A Quiet Place: Day One

06/07/24

Cineworld, Edinburgh

The arrival of A Quiet Place in 2018 had a dramatic effect in cinemas across the world. Customers even ate their popcorn extra-quietly, not daring to make a noise that might summon one of the predatory aliens that were the film’s raison d’etre. In 2020, a sequel arrived and, against all the odds, managed to pull off the trick a second time. Some viewers will remember that the sequel opened with a brief glimpse of the aliens arriving in New York and that’s where the action from this prequel also plays out.

There are few franchises that can successfully stick the landing a third time and the project’s creator, John Kransinski, has handed over the reins to writer/director Michael Sarnoski, giving him carte blanche to do something a little different.

Day One begins in a hospice in New York, where terminally-ill patient, Samira (Lupita Nyong’o), is coming to terms with her own imminent demise, comforted only by her regular companion, Frodo, a cat. Friendly nurse, Reuben (Alex Wolff), manages to persuade Samira to accompany the other patients on a trip into the city, where they will visit a marionette theatre. That’ll cheer her up. She agrees – on the stipulation that she will be able to buy pizza at Patsy’s.

Inevitably, the visit is rudely disrupted by the arrival of those pesky aliens, who, as in the previous films are only truly scary when we barely glimpse them. These early scenes of devastation are the film’s strongest suit: the ensuing chaos feeling pretty immersive. Samira eventually hooks up with English law student, Eric (Joseph Quinn, last seen in the low budget Hoard), who is understandably terrified, and the three of them – Samira, Eric and Frodo – set about the tricky task of staying alive. From this point the film becomes less a sci-fi horror and more a story of friendship and loyalty; whilst I applaud the valiant efforts to change up from what has gone before, I feel that the concept doesn’t entirely come off.

Although there are some admittedly touching scenes here, the atmosphere of steadily-mounting terror exhibited in Parts 1 and 2 feels somewhat eroded.

And then there’s Frodo. I appreciate that a lot of people adore our feline friends, but I nearly lose count of the times that the cat inadvertently plunges his human companions into peril. Quite how they manage to persuade themselves not to hurl him into the jaws of the nearest alien is beyond me. But maybe that says more about me than it does the film.

Suffice to say that, while the beginning and the end are well-handled, Day One has a decidedly flabby mid-section and, the more I see of the aliens, the less fearsome they become. Eagle-eyed viewers will spot a fleeting cameo from Djimon Hounsou as Henri, who had a bigger role in Part 2. Barely anyone else in this film gets a look in, other than a startled expression seconds before they are messily consumed. While Day One is by no means terrible, it still feels like a sizeable step down and I shall certainly be thinking twice should a fourth instalment rear its scaly head over the cinematic horizon.

Meanwhile, those who enjoy the antics of cute-but-irritating cats in disastrous situations should check this out.

3.6 stars

Philip Caveney

Àma Gloria

03/07/24

Mareel, Lerwick, Shetland

Six-year-old Cléo’s dad, Arnaud (Arnaud Rebotini), clearly loves her very much, but he’s busy with work and still grieving for the little girl’s mum, who died a few years before this story starts. He can’t manage on his own. Thank goodness for Gloria (Ilça Moreno Zego), a nanny, who forges a close bond with the child. In her care, Cléo (Louise Mauroy-Panzani) is happy: she laughs; she learns; she lights up the rooms of their Paris apartment.

But there’s a darker side to Gloria’s story. An immigrant, she’s come to France to earn the money to pay for her own children’s education. They’re back in Cape Verde, being cared for by Gloria’s mum. And when she dies, Gloria knows it’s time to go back home, and try to build the hotel she’s been saving for. Cléo is devastated by the loss of a second ‘mother’.

Arnaud and Gloria come up with a plan to ease the little girl’s pain: she can visit Gloria for a holiday. In Cape Verde, we see that Cléo is not the only motherless child: ten-year-old César (Fredy Gomes Tavares) is resentful of the Parisian who stole his mum from him. His older sister, Nanda (Abnara Gomes Varela), is more welcoming, but when she gives birth to her own son – Gloria’s first grandchild – Cléo experiences a powerful jealousy…

Written and directed by Marie Amachoukeli-Barsacq, Àma Gloria is a beautifully understated film, anchored by an extraordinary performance from its young co-lead. Mauroy-Panzani is luminous, her emotional reactions heart-wrenchingly convincing. Moreno Zego is excellent too: she imbues Gloria with both dignity and heart.

The animated sequences (by Marie and Pierre-Emmanuel Lyet) work really well, their soft edges lending them a dream-like quality, their blurriness suggestive of Cléo’s vision when she takes off her glasses. They magnify key points in the drama, slowing down the action so that we have to focus on the moment.

In fact, not much happens, but the what-might-have-beens are expertly placed so that, even when they don’t occur, we have already imagined them; they form part of our experience of the film. It’s a clever touch.

Heart-breaking, life-affirming, thought-provoking and delicate, Àma Gloria is a lovely, affecting film.

4.4 stars

Susan Singfield

Da Steak Hoose

02/07/24

Mounthooly Street, Lerwick, Shetland

We’re in Shetland for an author visit and until today the weather has been relentlessly dreich. This afternoon though, after the book event, the clouds disappear so we visit St Ninian’s Isle. After a long hike, we find ourselves in the mood for a slap-up meal. We can hardly fail to notice Da Steak Hoose, which literally adjoins the charming Airbnb where we’re staying.

First impressions aren’t promising. From the outside the place looks unprepossessing, almost forbidding, with no way of seeing what actually lies behind those blacked-out windows, and we start to wonder if it’s still doing business. But then we notice a sheet of faded paper in the window announcing that the establishment won a ‘Best Scottish Steakhouse Award’ in 2023 and so we make the (one minute) journey and head upstairs to the restaurant.

It quickly becomes clear that those first impressions were deceptive. There’s a large, roomy dining area, already half full of cheerful, friendly customers. The staff are charming and we’re soon sipping drinks and perusing the menu. We note that other diners are happily tucking in to generously-sized starters, which look enticing, but we resolve to cut straight to the main course and leave some room for pudding.

I order the rib-eye steak with a pepper corn sauce, and Susan opts for the sirloin. Soon enough, the meals arrive and we don’t require any urging to get stuck in. The medium-rare steaks are succulent, easy to slice and gloriously juicy. They are accompanied by baskets of chips, which are amongst the best I’ve eaten, with dry crispy exteriors and a soft floury centre: exactly what fried potatoes ought to be but so often aren’t. There’s a little green salad, a slice of intensely flavoured sweet tomato and some crispy onion rings. It’s all handsomely presented and it goes down a treat.

There’s a choice of just four puddings so we decide to share two of them. There’s a sticky toffee pudding, which is soft and scrumptious and full of dates, served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a fresh strawberry. It’s nicely judged, sweet but not too sweet. The chocolate flowerpot brownie is also a delight, the chunk of brownie gooey and indulgent, the flowerpot even more so, the chocolate shell stuffed with a thick chocolate mousse, the whole thing decorated with raspberries, chocolate crumb and edible flowers. It tastes every bit as delicious as it looks.

So, should you ever make it out to Shetland – and there are plenty of reasons why you should – Da Steak Hoose should be on every carnivore’s bucket list.

4.2 stars

Philip Caveney

Pride 10th Anniversary

30/06/24

Mareel, Lerwick, Shetland

We reviewed Pride on its initial release in 2014 and, ten years later, it’s given this timely rerelease. What strikes me most about it now is how relevant it still feels, the same – or similar – battles still needing heroes to fight them. I’m fascinated too by the stellar cast, many of whom have on to even greater things, notably Andrew Scott and George MacKay – and also Jessica Gunning, who (thanks to Baby Reindeer) has recently been catapulted to wider recognition.

If Pride made me weep first time around, it leaves me in floods today.

I post my original review here and absolutely stand by the observations, though in retrospect I might be tempted now to boost those stars to a full 5.

14/09/14

Cineword, Didsbury

Set in 1984, at the height of the miners’ strike, Pride tells the true-life story of Mark Ashton (Ben Schnetzer), a young gay activist who manages to persuade a group of like-minded friends to form LGSM (Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners). They start to collect money on behalf of one particular group of strikers in South Wales and are so successful, it’s not long before the group meets up with likeable Union man, Dai (Paddy Considine).

He invites them to the sleepy village of Onllwyn, to meet the miners in person – where inevitably, they encounter resistance from some of the more reactionary inhabitants. But after a frosty initial reception, they start to find allies in some rather unlikely places…

Pride is simply irresistible. Cut from the same cloth as films like The Full Monty and Brassed Off, it features a terrific ensemble – Bill Nighy, George MacKay, Imelda Staunton and Dominic West are undoubted highlights, but the overall casting is note-perfect. While it occasionally plays for easy laughs (‘Dai, your gays have arrived!’), it’s never less than entertaining and also takes the opportunity to slip in some genuinely thought-provoking moments.

It would be a cold heart indeed that doesn’t shed tears at the film’s emotional conclusion. Like most ‘true-life’ stories, there remains the conviction that a little dramatic licence may have been exercised on some of the actual events, but nevertheless, this is a successful slice of drama, snappily directed by Matthew Warchus, wittily scripted by Stephen Beresford and one that manages to keep itself just the right side of sentimentality.

4.5 stars

Philip Caveney

Kinds of Kindness

28/06/24

Cineworld, Edinburgh

You have to hand it to Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos – he doesn’t let the grass grow. His sublime adaptation of Poor Things only aired in January, bringing with it a well-deserved Oscar for Emma Stone – and already, here’s his next creation, a more stripped-back, contemporary tale: a kind of portmanteau featuring three different stories with the same actors playing different roles.

Kinds of Kindness, co-written by Lanthimos with long-time collaborator Efthiminus Filippou, begins with The Death of RMF. This is the story of Robert (Jesse Plemons), a submissive office worker who is compelled by his ruthless boss, Raymond (Willem Dafoe), to carry out a series of humiliating duties. He finally baulks at committing an extraordinary act of violence and is consequently cast out of Raymond’s orbit. Seeking solace, he attempts to forge a relationship with chance encounter, Rita (Emma Stone), but soon makes an unsettling discovery…

In the second tale, RMF is Flying, Plemons plays cop Daniel, whose wife, Liz (Stone), is missing, shipwrecked on a desert island. When she finally returns, Daniel starts to notice changes in her character and, in order to test her, he asks her to to prove her love for him.

In the concluding story RMF Eats a Sandwich, Plemons and Stone play Emily and Andrew, disciples in a weird cult run by Omi (Dafoe again). The two of them have been assigned a difficult task – to locate a mysterious woman who has the power to re-animate the now dead RMF (Yorgos Stefanakos). Could veterinarian Ruth (Margaret Qualley) be the woman to accomplish the impossible?

If this all sounds incomprehensible on paper, fear not, because Lanthimos takes enough time to delineate every character arc with such skill that there is never any confusion about what’s happening onscreen, even when it’s totally mind boggling. These stories are allegories focusing on three of life’s greatest preoccupations: work, marriage and religion – and, as the bizarre events unfold, audiences are led fearlessly through a series of interactions that alternate between harsh reality and haunting dreamscapes.

If I claimed I understood everything that happens here I’d be lying. I only know that this is exciting, unpredictable filmmaking, and – as I was with Poor Things – I’m fascinated to see large numbers of people turning out to see what Lanthimos has come up with. I can think of few other directors who have this ability to push boundaries and simultaneously satisfy the box office. I’m already excited to see what he will come up with next.

While this may not be the exquisite slice of cinematic perfection that was its predecessor, it’s nonetheless the work of a gifted director at the top of his game. Don’t miss it.

4.6 stars

Philip Caveney

The Bikeriders

27/06/24

Cineworld, Edinburgh

The poster for The Bikeriders might lead a viewer to expect something rather different from what this film actually is: a serious recreation of the misadventures of a motorcycle club, founded in the early 60s and initially memorialised in a 1967 book by photojournalist Danny Lyon.

In Jeff Nichols’ film, we see Danny (Mike Faist) conducting a series of interviews with Kathy (Jodie Comer). She’s the long-term girlfriend of Benny (Austin Butler), a member of `The Vandals’, a Chicago-based group of bike enthusiasts, created and led by Johnny (Tom Hardy). In its early days, the group has a rigid code of honour that none of its members will ever ignore. Indeed, when we first encounter Benny, he’s about to be badly beaten up by a couple of rednecks when he refuses to remove his ‘colours’ in a local bar.

But as the years move on and the Vandals’ numbers inevitably begin to swell, that original code becomes increasingly muddied by the raft of newcomers, each with their own agenda. They include The Kid (Toby Wallace), a tough young wannabe, who has set his sights on joining up and who isn’t about to let anything stand in his path.

While The Bikeriders is light on plot, it’s loaded with characterisation. Comer is extraordinary as Kathy, who chronicles the group’s history in an eerily impressive midwestern accent; and Hardy too is eminently watchable as their leader, channeling early Marlon Brando (at one point we even see Johnny watching The Wild One and virtually taking notes). He’s somewhat mystified to discover that the Vandals are increasingly like a runaway train that, once kicked into life, proves impossible to stop. As Benny, Butler has very little in the way of dialogue, but his chain-smoking, smouldering presence makes it easy to understand why Kathy is so obsessed with him.

The other members of the gang have their own opportunities to shine. Nichols’ regular muse, Michael Shannon, is effective as the dim-witted Zipco, a man who has been repeatedly passed over by society since childhood and who has found his spiritual home amongst this gang of misfits – and Emery Cohen is also effective as Cockroach, who is destined to ride a motorcycle in the future for an entirely different reason. The 60s and 70s settings are convincingly evoked and fans of vintage motorcycles will doubtless be drooling at the sight of scores of bikes thundering in formation along the highways. But the tone of the film is essentially an elegy, a lament for the many ways in which an original idea can be twisted and debased until its original aims have all but vanished.

This won’t be for everyone. There’s no denying that it glamourises thuggery and, with a running time of nearly two hours, it could perhaps have benefitted from a tighter edit, especially around its flabby midsection. Nichols has spent the best part of twenty years putting the film together and it feels very much like a labour of love. Those looking for thrills and action might prefer to look elsewhere. But if it’s classy performances you’re after, you’ve definitely chosen the right vehicle.

3. 8 stars

Philip Caveney

Bad Boys: Ride or Die

19/06/24

Cineworld, Edinburgh

True confession. I’ve never watched a Bad Boys film. Until now.

And having watched one, I can never regain that feeling of being blissfully oblivious to the franchise. Here’s what happens: I find I have the opportunity to see a movie and the only one that starts at a convenient time is Bad Boys: Ride or Die. I know that the previous instalment, Bad Boys for Life, took a shitload of money at the box office, so I decide to book a ticket. After all, how bad can it be?

The answer to that is an unequivocal ‘very.’ It may have helped if I’d seen the previous instalment, but there’s not much I can do about that because nothing short of a hefty bribe will ever induce me to go back for a second helping of this nonsense. There is a plot and I will attempt to (briefly) explain it.

Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) gets married to Kelly (Vanessa Hudgens) and at the following knees-up, Mike’s sidekick, Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence), suffers a near-fatal heart attack. He manages to shrug it off (virtually overnight) and seems reinvigorated by the experience, to the extent that he starts throwing himself headlong into every situation like a teenager on steroids.

Then there’s bad news. The BB’s previous boss, Captain Howard (Joe Pantoliano), who was shot dead in the last film, is being framed by ‘The Cartel.’ They are downloading millions of dollars into his bank account. (Full disclosure: I watch the film carefully but I honestly have no idea why they are doing this). Of course, Mike and Marcus love their ex-boss and so, when they receive videos featuring him – only to be watched in the event of his death – they vow to clear his name.

In this endeavour they are aided by Mike’s illegitimate son, Armando (Jacob Scipio), who was in jail but escapes after a helicopter crash. Armando is subsequently hunted by US Marshall Judy (Rhea Seehorn), who has sworn to kill him. (Again, I guess I needed to have seen For Ever to fully appreciate why. Or, I don’t know, maybe they could have put in a few flashbacks? Just saying.)

There ensues a series of shoot-outs in a variety of locations in Florida, where gangs of bad guys are punched, shot, stabbed or blown to smithereens but, since I don’t know anything about them, I don’t care – though I am strangely bewildered by their seeming ability to reproduce mid-action so that what seems like a handful at the start winds up as a veritable army. There’s also a climactic gun battle in an abandoned theme park (of course there is) that for no apparent reason features a gigantic albino alligator, who you just know is going to eat somebody.

Every so often, Mike and Marcus break off from killing people to have an improvised comedy conversation about life, or jelly beans, or… barbecues. I’m hoping it’s improvised because if screenwriters Chris Bremner and Will Beall actually scripted this, there’s little hope left for humanity. Smith keeps his performance relatively downbeat while Laurence acts like he’s still having that heart attack, gurning and dilating his eyes every time he speaks and, at one point, even shouting ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Motherfucker!’ which again, probably refers back to… something. I am somewhat saddened to see the excellent Seehorn (of Better Call Saul) reduced to running around in a bullet proof vest and looking angry, but at least she’s given more to do than the other female characters.

Directors Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah give cinematographer Robrecht Heyvaert every opportunity to employ a whole battery of arty styles to every action sequence, so that even in the simplest punch-up it’s impossible to tell who is hitting who and why. One extended sequence plays out like a video game, with the camera freewheeling around an interior like a super-charged pinball.

The credits finally roll and I let out a long sigh of relief. Then I scuttle out, just in case there’s a Bad Boys post-credit sequence. I’ve seen enough of this franchise to last me a lifetime.

2 stars

Philip Caveney