]Michael Kennedy | Bouquets & Brickbats

16/02/25

Cineworld Edinburgh

We are romantic sorts here at Bouquets & Brickbats, so come Valentine’s Day (or at least, forty-eight hours after it) we seek out this timely tale of a young couple who set out for a romantic night on February 14th… only to find themselves being pursued by a relentless serial killer. We’ve all been there.

Despite that unprepossessing title, Heart Eyes, directed by actor Josh Ruben and written by Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy, is a spirited mash-up, mixing familiar elements from famous rom-coms with gnarly images from slasher movies. In a snappy pre-credits sequence, we see the titular killer (named because of the heart-shaped goggles he wears over the inevitable fright mask) interrupting the romantic proposal of Patrick (Alex Walker) and Adeline (Lauren O’Hara) in a very aggressive manner. Suffice to say, it gets messy.

Credits done, and we learn that Heart Eyes (thus dubbed by the ever-sensitive press) has been active for a couple of years, and these Valentine slaughters are an annual occurrence. He moves to a different city for each successive spree. This time it’s Seattle.

And does this put people off celebrating the event? No, it does not. Go figure.

We meet Ally (Olivia Holt), who works at an advertising agency and has just angered her boss, Crystal (Michaela Watkins), by attempting to pitch a romantic ad campaign that’s based around the subject of er… death. It doesn’t go down well. Crystal introduces Ally to Jay (Mason Gooding), handsome, smooth-talking and almost definitely there to take Ally’s job away from her. Jay suggests that the two of them should head out for dinner so they can discuss the way forward. She points out that it’s Valentine’s Day and he assures her that everything will be fine…

Heart Eyes isn’t exactly reinventing the wheel here, but I have fun with the premise. Ruben seems to delight in propelling his leads along a twisting path of unforeseen – and sometimes preposterous – events. The danger here, of course, is that rom-com fans will be put off by the regular bouts of gory 18-certificate violence while hardcore fright fans will be sniffy about the romantic stuff. For those who can enjoy both, this is a propulsive ride that flings viewers gleefully from one situation to the next, often with tongue firmly in cheek.

If some of the ‘twists’ don’t exactly take me by surprise – Chekov’s metal straw, I’m looking at you – there are plenty of lines that manage to catch me in the chuckle muscles, especially those from Ally’s rom-com obsessed best friend, Monica (Gigi Zumbado).

If you see this in the cinema, make sure you stay in your seat for a mid-credit scene, which most of the viewers at the screening I attend manage to miss. For once, this is actually worth waiting for.

4 stars

Philip Caveney

18/02/22

NOW Cinema

Our on-going efforts to catch up with some of the movies that were lost in lockdown continues. Freaky was released at the worst possible time for a film of this kind. Here is something that really needs to be seen with a bunch of friends, in an actual cinema, to be fully appreciated. But, needs must and all that.

To be honest, Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy’s spoof slasher movie starts unpromisingly as we see four teenagers gorily despatched by the Blissfield Butcher, a masked killer in the (jugular) vein of Michael Myers. Indeed, there are clear nods to Halloween and other classics of the genre, but the problem is that there’s no real suspense generated here, the killings suspended in that lonely wasteland somewhere between horror and comedy.

Just as I’m thinking of reaching for the ‘off’ switch, however, the film plays its trump card, as The Butcher (Vince Vaughan) attacks troubled teen Millie (Kathryn Newton) with an ancient Aztec dagger and things change significantly. For this, it turns out, is a body-swap story (working title Freaky Friday the 13th). Now Millie is running around in the body of a six-foot-plus male serial killer and she’s having the devil of a job convincing her best friends, Nyla (Celeste O’ Connor) and Josh (Misha Osherovich), that she’s worthy of their trust.

Meanwhile, The Butcher is wandering gleefully around the high school in Millie’s petite frame, exacting bloody revenge on everyone who is mean to him – and that vengeance is not exclusively directed at his fellow students, either. Teacher Mr Bernardi (Alan Ruck) is also due a healthy dose of comeuppance.

And suddenly it’s working! This edgy mix of killer-thriller and high school romcom feels fresh and inventive, while Vaughan gives a nicely nuanced performance that’s much more adept than the high-camp caricature familiar from this genre. Newton handles her inner malevolence with skill and Osherovich, as Millie’s snarky gay friend, is given some genuinely funny lines to deliver. As he observes to Nyla: ‘You’re black, I’m gay. We are SO dead!’

The subsequent killings have much more impact now that we actually have characters that we can care about – and the pace is too frantic to allow time to consider the improbabilities of the plot.

But, you can’t help but wonder, how on earth are they ever going to tie these various strands into a satisfying conclusion? Suffice to say they do, and, most refreshing of all, there’s no attempt to dangle the possibility of a sequel.

4 stars

Philip Caveney