Carla Gugino

Lisa Frankenstein

07/03/23

Cineworld, Edinburgh

Diablo Cody first came to my attention with Juno (2007), a whip-smart, whimsical piece of work that deservedly won her the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. Two years later, her script for Jennifer’s Body, though divisive, was still an impressive piece of work. Since then, her career has been somewhat hit and miss, but her name is still the main reason I choose to see Lisa Frankenstein. 

So I’m somewhat nonplussed to discover that the film is a dud. Seriously, the word ‘disappointing’ does not cover how bad this is – a slice of horror comedy that isn’t particularly gruesome (given the PG13 certificate) and manages to be about as funny as a car crash. The kindest thing I can think to say about it is that it has stylish opening titles that promise something much more sophisticated than what follows.

Lisa Swallows (Kathryn Newton) has never quite got over the night when her mother was murdered by a random axe murderer. (Laughing yet?) She now lives with her Dad, Dale (Joe Chrest), who is now married to Janet (Carla Gugino, chewing the scenery as the traditional evil stepmother, yet arguably the most watchable element in the film).  Lisa has also acquired a step-sister, Taffy (Liza Soberano), who – against all the odds – is friendly and supportive, which may be the only touch of originality here.

Lisa has taken to spending her spare time in the local cemetery, where she has been brooding beside the grave of a young Victorian male, who died back in 1837. Cue a thunderstorm, a convenient flash of lighting and said creature (played by Cole Sprouse) reanimates and lumbers his way to Lisa’s house, where she – quite by chance – is all alone in her bedroom. The creature is missing a hand and it’s not long before he and Lisa are on the lookout for a replacement…

I honestly want to like this, but almost everything about it misfires. The ‘jokes’ fall flat from the word go; the direction (by Zelda Williams) is perfunctory at best and occasionally rather confusing. While the 1989 setting is decently evoked, the dialogue that emerges from the mouths of the mostly young cast sounds like nothing anyone of that age would ever say. Newton does her best with what she’s been given, but deserves better lines to deliver. It doesn’t help that for nearly all of the film, her co-star Sprouse is only able to make various grunts, growls and shouts. 

The film lurches clumsily onwards, powered only by its own internal logic, but when that logic is so fatally flawed, it takes every ounce of my will to stay in my seat until the end. Sorry to all involved, but this feels like a waste of a sizeable budget that could have been spent on something better than this muddled mess.

1.5 stars

Philip Caveney 

Gerald’s Game

06/11/17

I remember reading Steven King’s novel on its release in 1992 and thinking to myself, ‘Well, here’s one of his books they’ll never be able to make into a film.’ This was the time when moviemakers were happily turning everything he was involved with into motion pictures, (even, it seemed, his shopping lists), so this was quite a claim, but everything about the story – it features pretty much a single protagonist who is chained to a bed throughout proceedings – seems to suggest it’s a cinematic non-starter. Clearly, nobody has mentioned that to writer/director Mike Flanagan; and it’s to his credit, that he makes a pretty decent fist of this Netflix Original.

Jessie Burlingame (Carla Gugino) and her husband, Gerald (Bruce Greenwood), attempt to spice up their flagging marriage by heading off to their remote summerhouse for a weekend of carnal pleasure, in which Gerald wishes to investigate the possibilities of a little bondage. Almost before you can say, ‘bad idea,’ Jessie is handcuffed to a bed and Gerald (don’t worry, this really isn’t a spoiler) has dropped dead from a massive heart attack. Awkward! Unable to get up off the mattress, Jessie has time to regret leaving the back door open (really?) and encouraging a hungry stray dog to come around and get himself something to eat… also, who is the mysterious Moonlight Man, who keeps appearing from time to time? Is he merely a hallucination? The image of Jessie’s own impending death? Or something much more prosaic?

Given the problematic storyline, Flanagan manages to walk a tricky tightrope between prurience and suspense – and his technique for ‘opening up’ the story is cleverly done. A recurring flashback to Jessie’s childhood cleverly echoes the point that she’s always been held prisoner by a man’s sordid intentions; and, if you thought Greenwood’s presence here was going to be fleeting, think again. There’s also a mercifully brief but extremely visceral sequence that will have the hardiest souls averting their gaze as it unfolds in all it’s bloody detail.

King’s books rarely get the screen adaptations they deserve – even the recent, highly acclaimed It, fell somewhat short of the mark in my opinion – but this is a palpable success and it’s right there on Netflix whenever you feel hardy enough to give it a whirl.

3.8 stars

Philip Caveney